diff --git a/src/lib/chat/adapters/nip-10-adapter.ts b/src/lib/chat/adapters/nip-10-adapter.ts
index ccca9f3..8cbe5d5 100644
--- a/src/lib/chat/adapters/nip-10-adapter.ts
+++ b/src/lib/chat/adapters/nip-10-adapter.ts
@@ -22,7 +22,8 @@ import pool from "@/services/relay-pool";
 import { publishEventToRelays } from "@/services/hub";
 import accountManager from "@/services/accounts";
 import { AGGREGATOR_RELAYS } from "@/services/loaders";
-import { normalizeURL } from "applesauce-core/helpers";
+import { mergeRelaySets } from "applesauce-core/helpers";
+import { getOutboxes } from "applesauce-core/helpers/mailboxes";
 import { getEventPointerFromETag } from "applesauce-core/helpers/pointers";
 import { EventFactory } from "applesauce-core/event-factory";
 import {
@@ -516,16 +517,9 @@ export class Nip10Adapter extends ChatProtocolAdapter {
       return cachedEvent;
     }
 
-    // Build relay list: conversation relays + pointer relay hints (deduplicated)
+    // Build relay list: conversation relays + pointer relay hints (deduplicated and normalized)
     const conversationRelays = conversation.metadata?.relays || [];
-    const relays = [...conversationRelays];
-    if (pointer.relays) {
-      for (const relay of pointer.relays) {
-        if (!relays.includes(relay)) {
-          relays.push(relay);
-        }
-      }
-    }
+    const relays = mergeRelaySets(conversationRelays, pointer.relays || []);
 
     if (relays.length === 0) {
       console.warn("[NIP-10] No relays for loading reply message");
@@ -635,52 +629,38 @@ export class Nip10Adapter extends ChatProtocolAdapter {
     providedEvent: NostrEvent,
     providedRelays: string[],
   ): Promise<string[]> {
-    const relays = new Set<string>();
+    const relaySets: string[][] = [];
 
-    // 1. Provided relay hints
-    providedRelays.forEach((r) => relays.add(normalizeURL(r)));
+    // 1. Provided relay hints (highest priority)
+    relaySets.push(providedRelays);
 
-    // 2. Root author's outbox relays (NIP-65) - highest priority
+    // 2. Root author's outbox relays (NIP-65)
     try {
       const rootOutbox = await this.getOutboxRelays(rootEvent.pubkey);
-      rootOutbox.slice(0, 3).forEach((r) => relays.add(normalizeURL(r)));
+      relaySets.push(rootOutbox.slice(0, 3));
     } catch (err) {
       console.warn("[NIP-10] Failed to get root author outbox:", err);
     }
 
     // 3. Collect unique participant pubkeys from both events' p-tags
     const participantPubkeys = new Set<string>();
-
-    // Add p-tags from root event
     for (const tag of rootEvent.tags) {
-      if (tag[0] === "p" && tag[1]) {
-        participantPubkeys.add(tag[1]);
-      }
+      if (tag[0] === "p" && tag[1]) participantPubkeys.add(tag[1]);
     }
-
-    // Add p-tags from provided event
     for (const tag of providedEvent.tags) {
-      if (tag[0] === "p" && tag[1]) {
-        participantPubkeys.add(tag[1]);
-      }
+      if (tag[0] === "p" && tag[1]) participantPubkeys.add(tag[1]);
     }
-
-    // Add provided event author if different from root
     if (providedEvent.pubkey !== rootEvent.pubkey) {
       participantPubkeys.add(providedEvent.pubkey);
     }
 
     // 4. Fetch outbox relays from participant subset (limit to avoid slowdown)
-    // Take first 5 participants to get relay diversity without excessive fetching
     const participantsToCheck = Array.from(participantPubkeys).slice(0, 5);
     for (const pubkey of participantsToCheck) {
       try {
         const outbox = await this.getOutboxRelays(pubkey);
-        // Add 1 relay from each participant for diversity
-        if (outbox.length > 0) {
-          relays.add(normalizeURL(outbox[0]));
-        }
-      } catch (_err) {
+        if (outbox.length > 0) relaySets.push([outbox[0]]);
+      } catch {
         // Silently continue if participant has no relay list
       }
     }
@@ -690,19 +670,22 @@ export class Nip10Adapter extends ChatProtocolAdapter {
     if (activePubkey && !participantPubkeys.has(activePubkey)) {
       try {
         const userOutbox = await this.getOutboxRelays(activePubkey);
-        userOutbox.slice(0, 2).forEach((r) => relays.add(normalizeURL(r)));
+        relaySets.push(userOutbox.slice(0, 2));
       } catch (err) {
         console.warn("[NIP-10] Failed to get user outbox:", err);
       }
     }
 
+    // Merge all relay sets (handles deduplication and normalization)
+    let relays = mergeRelaySets(...relaySets);
+
     // 6. Fallback to aggregator relays if we have too few
-    if (relays.size < 3) {
-      AGGREGATOR_RELAYS.forEach((r) => relays.add(r));
+    if (relays.length < 3) {
+      relays = mergeRelaySets(relays, AGGREGATOR_RELAYS);
     }
 
     // Limit to 10 relays max for performance
-    return Array.from(relays).slice(0, 10);
+    return relays.slice(0, 10);
   }
 
   /**
@@ -716,15 +699,8 @@ export class Nip10Adapter extends ChatProtocolAdapter {
 
     if (!relayList) return [];
 
-    // Extract write relays (r tags with "write" or no marker)
-    return relayList.tags
-      .filter((t) => {
-        if (t[0] !== "r") return false;
-        const marker = t[2];
-        return !marker || marker === "write";
-      })
-      .map((t) => normalizeURL(t[1]))
-      .slice(0, 5); // Limit to 5
+    // Use applesauce helper to extract write relays
+    return getOutboxes(relayList).slice(0, 5);
   }
 
   /**
diff --git a/src/lib/chat/adapters/nip-29-adapter.ts b/src/lib/chat/adapters/nip-29-adapter.ts
index 538ee43..1e57b3b 100644
--- a/src/lib/chat/adapters/nip-29-adapter.ts
+++ b/src/lib/chat/adapters/nip-29-adapter.ts
@@ -21,6 +21,7 @@ import { publishEventToRelays, publishEvent } from "@/services/hub";
 import accountManager from "@/services/accounts";
 import { getTagValues, getQuotePointer } from "@/lib/nostr-utils";
 import { getEventPointerFromETag } from "applesauce-core/helpers/pointers";
+import { mergeRelaySets } from "applesauce-core/helpers";
 import { normalizeRelayURL } from "@/lib/relay-url";
 import { EventFactory } from "applesauce-core/event-factory";
 import {
@@ -803,20 +804,12 @@ export class Nip29Adapter extends ChatProtocolAdapter {
       return cachedEvent;
     }
 
-    // Build relay list: group relay + pointer relay hints (deduplicated)
-    const relays: string[] = [];
+    // Build relay list: group relay + pointer relay hints (deduplicated and normalized)
     const groupRelayUrl = conversation.metadata?.relayUrl;
-    if (groupRelayUrl) {
-      relays.push(groupRelayUrl);
-    }
-    // Add relay hints from the pointer (q-tag relay hint)
-    if (pointer.relays) {
-      for (const relay of pointer.relays) {
-        if (!relays.includes(relay)) {
-          relays.push(relay);
-        }
-      }
-    }
+    const relays = mergeRelaySets(
+      groupRelayUrl ? [groupRelayUrl] : [],
+      pointer.relays || [],
+    );
 
     if (relays.length === 0) {
       console.warn("[NIP-29] No relays available for loading reply message");
diff --git a/src/lib/chat/adapters/nip-53-adapter.ts b/src/lib/chat/adapters/nip-53-adapter.ts
index bca5275..de244cd 100644
--- a/src/lib/chat/adapters/nip-53-adapter.ts
+++ b/src/lib/chat/adapters/nip-53-adapter.ts
@@ -24,6 +24,7 @@ import { publishEventToRelays } from "@/services/hub";
 import accountManager from "@/services/accounts";
 import { AGGREGATOR_RELAYS } from "@/services/loaders";
 import { getEventPointerFromETag } from "applesauce-core/helpers/pointers";
+import { mergeRelaySets } from "applesauce-core/helpers";
 import {
   parseLiveActivity,
   getLiveStatus,
@@ -666,20 +667,13 @@ export class Nip53Adapter extends ChatProtocolAdapter {
     // Get conversation relays
     const conversationRelays =
       liveActivity?.relays && liveActivity.relays.length > 0
-        ? [...liveActivity.relays]
+        ? liveActivity.relays
         : conversation.metadata?.relayUrl
           ? [conversation.metadata.relayUrl]
           : [];
 
-    // Add pointer relay hints (deduplicated)
-    const relays = [...conversationRelays];
-    if (pointer.relays) {
-      for (const relay of pointer.relays) {
-        if (!relays.includes(relay)) {
-          relays.push(relay);
-        }
-      }
-    }
+    // Merge conversation relays with pointer relay hints (deduplicated and normalized)
+    const relays = mergeRelaySets(conversationRelays, pointer.relays || []);
 
     if (relays.length === 0) {
       console.warn("[NIP-53] No relays for loading reply message");